


I'm losing control

by Nicookami



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Chara is powerful and controlling, First person POV(frisk), Flowey sucks but I love him, Frisk is a bit older, Frisk presents themselves as "Chara", Frisk stays longer in the underground, Gen, Gender-Neutral Chara, Gender-Neutral Frisk, More tags will be added along with the new chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-24 08:40:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6147946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicookami/pseuds/Nicookami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once again, a human fell in the Underground. With amnesia, weak and confused, they had no power over the child inside their head, who could do however they pleased.</p><p>   The human, however, found that the world inside Mt. Ebott was beautiful and full of things they had yet to learn, and there they found the love they didn't deem possible. Maybe living in the monster world wasn't a bad idea, in the end. As far as they knew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chill

**Author's Note:**

> Heya guys!  
> This is my first Undertale fanfic, so criticism is well appreciated. 
> 
> Note: This might be sort of confusing at first because it's first-person. The narrator is Frisk.

_“Do you believe that people can change? Do you really believe that? Heh. Think.”_

 

 

It was cold. Colder than every single day of my life stitched together, all the chilling breezes blowing on my cheeks, all the snowflakes that once fell down on the tip of my nose. Hypothermia, I thought. What a way to end things! In any other situation I’d feel enraged, consumed by frustration and remorse. But now? Now I felt nothing. I was so concentrated on keeping myself warm and, well, alive, that I simply gave up thinking. Instead, somewhere deep within my soul, the will to live and the _determination_  to do so pulsed loudly, screaming inside my head. Can’t give up now, can I?

 _-I can help you, but you need to trust me.-_ A distant voice echoed from what seemed to be inside my mind. It had the soft timbre of a child but the serious tone of an adult.

I nodded. Anything was worth the try.

 _-Great. Follow my directions.-_ It continued, whispering pathways and leading me into the snowy mess.

  
Everything around me was white. The trees, the ground, even the sky. Maybe I wasn’t able to see well at that point too, which was understandable, but at least there wasn’t a blizzard going on right at that moment. My boots were soaked and would dig in deep every step I took, which only made things harder. I couldn’t even remember why I climbed that mountain in the first place, but I couldn’t go back. The city was too far away, and right by the horizon I could see the sun would set anytime soon.

  
By now, I was at least halfway up Mt. Ebott, the rush of things fading rational thinking process and thus making me end up there. And now there was this… this child? In my head. Were they in my head? It was hard to tell. It was familiar, somehow, and I think I might have heard it earlier that day, maybe even before that. They were being a huge help, nonetheless, because my vision was getting blurred, my breath was shallow and slow, and it was hard to walk. _Soon_ , I thought. If it is going to end, it might as well--

 _-Keep going, we’ll get there anytime now._ \- It cut my thoughts short, but before I could answer, if I could answer, I felt my feet falter in the snow and I slipped, too fast for me to register where.

  
Death hurts, I thought. It was impossible to move, my limbs gave up on my body, and after that fall there was no way I’d be alive. Death was beautiful, still. I didn’t think it’d look like a bed of golden flowers, embracing me with their petals in a very comforting way.

  
Taking a look around, I was in a place that reminded me of a bowl. Above me, there was a big hole that must have been where I fell down from. The surface of the walls of that natural bowl were rocky and irregular, and there were a few ruined pillars here and there, suggesting this could have been something else, long ago. Now it was just a big garden of flowers, all golden. It was possible that I was dead but my spirit remained on the same spot my body was, I reconsidered.

“Howdy! Who are you? I’ve never seen your face around here before!” A childish voice reverberated on the open space, disrupting my thoughts. It wasn’t the voice from before, though, this one felt more _solid_.

 _\- Well, yeah. You can only die once, I guess_.-  This other voice, I knew. They didn’t need to be rude, but I didn’t comment because I seemed to be the only one listening.

“Helloooooooo?” The other one whispered in a tune. Just a moment, I thought. I like these flowers.

“Okay…? Helloooooooo!” I heard rustling around me, and I felt the flowers shifting just slightly, as if something was moving between them. “You… You aren’t dead, are you?”

If I could, I’d have jumped in a startle. Above me, a leaf swinged around, soon after followed by a flower with a confused face. Can death's plan of existence have expressive flowers?

“Oh, good, you aren’t. But, geez, you look beat, don’t’cha? I’m sure your lip is not supposed to be purple like this.” The flower spoke, watching carefully and closely. “You’re shivering.” I hadn’t noticed.

“What’s your name? Can you speak… at all?” It asked, but my mouth wouldn’t move and my throat was closed. The plant seemed impatient.

 _-Seems like you’re a bit dumb, aren't you? I’ll take over for now.-_ As of usual, they didn’t expect for an answer, and I fel like most control over my body was lost completely. I still had my conscience, but that was pretty much it, and I was too tired to care.

“My name Is Chara.” I responded with a serious tone.

Silence.

“… Chara, is it?” The flower stared for a second. It seemed to be thinking. “W-Well, howdy! I’m Flowey, Flowey the flower!”

Flowey seemed unsettled at first, but quickly recomposed. Maybe it was the way I spoke which came off as a little rude. I politely asked for whomever controlled me at that moment to be a little gentler.

“Hey, ‘Flowey’.” Oh, now I sounded sarcastic. I certainly wasn’t making the impression I strived for.

“I” tried to sit up, but it was hard. I kind of had figured out I wasn’t dead after all, but where was I then? Were these plants so soft they were able to aid me into surviving a fall which could easily have been from a height of 100-200ft?

 _-He is different from what I remembered.-_ They spoke again, seemingly to me. I had no idea what they were talking about, however.

“You’re new to the underground, aren’tcha? Golly, you must be so confused!” Flowey had a friendly face on. He seemed ni--

 _\- Don't finish that sentence! -_ They commanded, in a way that would make me flinch if I could. _-I wonder... Why is he putting on an act? I know he remembers me.-_

“Someone ought to teach you how things work around here!” He was eager to show me something, I noticed. “I guess little old me will have to do. Ready? Here we go!”

Suddenly, everything around me turned black. It was a weird black, it wasn’t tangible and it seemed to extend forever. I could compare it to the void, like the space. But, contrary to stars, there was a single red heart floating right in front of me. No, that’s not right, it was more like I _was_ the thing instead.

 _\- That surprised me.-_  I agreed, but I probably didn’t experience it the same way as they did. This child seemed to know way more than me.

Not long after, the familiar plant appeared in the very middle of the zone ahead. He was shaded black and white, totally unsaturated. It was unsettling.

  
“See that heart? That is your s--” Flowey started talking amidst the dark, not wasting any time. However, something caught his attention and he appeared to be hearing something far away. “Oh, no. I’m too late. I guess we’ll have to wait for a better time!”

As fast as it came, the void was gone. I was confused, to say the least ─ And I had so many questions! I could hear steps east from where I was sitting, and Flowey implied he heard it too. When my head was turned to search for the source, his soft voice chanted a “We’ll see each other again!” and he disappeared on the ground, leaving me alone with whatever was coming in this direction. 


	2. Welcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toriel appears!

_-Oh my.-_

 

What I saw was… hard to describe. A tall being approached me with a concerned look, in contrast to my puzzled face. The being had the aspect of a goat, but the paws were sort of canine or cat-like, still similar to hands. I couldn’t examine the feet, which seemed equally akin to animal paws, very well, for the fact that they were covered by a long, purple-ish dress with white sleeves. There were symbols in it I could not comprehend.

 

“Ah!” The creature said in a calming and feminine voice, joining hands. “A child!”

 

I wasn’t a child, I was a little bit older than that. I supposed one could assume that, though, from their perspective, seen as I was very petite in comparison to that person. Plus, I was still sitting down.

 

“Do not be afraid. my child. I am Toriel, caretaker of the ruins.” She (I assumed) kneeled down to get a better look and extended her furry hand, expecting me to take it.

 

 _-… You can have your control back.-_ The child whispered sorrowfully, and then went silent. I contemplated dominance over my own body again.

 

I tried to reach out my arm, but a sharp pain took over as soon as I did so. I cried out a yelp, which shifted her expression immediately to something serious.

 

“Are you hurt? Oh no, that fall must have hit you very hard! And you look so cold.” She retrieved her hand, a faint orange glow emanating from it. “Worry not, now. I will heal you, please stay still.”

 

I had no time to react, as she had already engulfed me in orange shine. It felt… weird. A sensation I couldn’t describe except for, perhaps, relief. The pain was slowly being taken away and warmth filled my whole body, a sensation which turned out to be a little scary just like it was unnatural. I didn’t complain, though. I was being cured, after all. When it was done, I realized the pain wasn’t completely gone; however, now it was way more bearable.

 

“There, there. How do you feel, child?” Her eyes were fixed on mine, the motherly stare of someone who strived for your well-being. I trusted her a bit more that moment.

 

“… W-Way better. Thank you.” I moved my arm around, dumbfounded. “What did you do?”

 

“I used magic, of course!” She said it as if it was obvious. “I’ll explain it later. What is your name, dear?”

 

- _Chara.-_

 

“I’m Chara.” I told her, grabbing her hand and finally getting up. She stiffened.

 

“What?” She had the same look Flowey had before. Is my name that weird? She shaked her head, recomposing. “W-What a beautiful name, I mean.”

 

Toriel smiled, and her fangs were more visible then. They seemed dangerous, but I wasn’t frightened. She motioned for me to follow. I still had a lingering question I wanted to ask, but that could wait.

 

“This way.” She went on, checking if I was too far behind, and then stepping aside so we could walk parallelly. She had the smell of soap and sweet perfume, and I enjoyed it. I, on the other hand, was smelly and my clothes were still damp because of the snow, and even though I was healed from my hypothermia I had the risk of having it once more because of it. I didn't want that.

 

“Miss Toriel--“

 

“There is no need for ‘Miss’, my child. Just Toriel, if you may.” She put a hand on my shoulder in a gesture of reassurance.

 

“Oh, okay. Then, Toriel...” She smiled. “Do you think there is somewhere around here I could change clothes?”

 

“Oh dear, I'm so sorry! You will catch a cold with clothes wet like this, is that not so? I think it would be better for you to take off your coat for now” I did as told and gave her the piece of garment her hand pointed to. “I will take you to my home quickly and then we will find you something to wear, is that okay?”

 

I nodded, delighted with the kindness I was receiving from this strange creature. I rolled up the sleeves of my undershirt and the legs of my pants, both still pretty moist, the latter a bit more.

 

We crossed two doorways as we followed the path, and I was surprised to see now a light purple room, with equally purple bricks all around. A couple of stairs rised above, guarding a path of red leaves in the center, which also formed the countour of a square a bit behind. Going up said stairs revealed a grey doorway, slightly smaller than the ones before that.

  
“This, innocent one, is the entrance to the Ruins. Inside, there are countless puzzles one needs to solve in order to progress. Since we are in a hurry, though, I will not be able to explain them very well. Please, do keep following me here too.” She stared, waiting for confirmation.

  
“Okay, thanks. You are very kind!” I smiled, and she ruffled my hair after what seemed to be a blush.

  
“I am flattered, young one.” She joined hands again, giggling. “Thank you. Shall we proceed?”  
I voiced an enthusiastic “yes!” and continued walking alongside Toriel. It was easy to be comfortable around her, and I was able to forget the looming cold for a while.

  
In quick movements, Toriel stepped over some switches and unlocked the next room, as if she was very used to doing that. I suppose she was.

  
“What are you, anyway?” I asked casually, only noticing how rude it sounded after I had already said it. “N-No offense, of course!”

  
“I am a monster, as you can see.” She waved her paw. “Forgive me for I have rushed things, but here in the Underground, practically all of the inhabitants are monsters. Don’t worry, I will answer your questions when we get home, my child.”

  
I nodded, willing to be patient. We went through a room with waterways and switches on the walls, solved equally as fast. The next room contained what I took as a training dummy, but we walked right past it as Toriel promised our return there later.

  
The next puzzle scared me at first. It was a ground of spikes, that retracted if you stepped over the right path. I had to hold Toriel's hand on this one.

  
The rest was very similar in description. Along the way, she let me take a candy from an altar, and bought a spider donut for me too. All of the puzzles were very interesting and made me wish we had more time to spend there, but I was shivering again. If the weather itself was warm, maybe my clothes would dry on their own. But it was chilly, and I think the seasons affected the Underground as well.

  
With Toriel's agility, we got to her house in about 20 minutes, at which point I was sneezing, much to my dismay.

  
“Oh, no.” She said, realizing something just as we crossed the door. My eyes were contemplating the light brown furniture and decoration, in a welcoming living room. “I think I don’t have clothes your size...”

  
She looked concerned as I coughed.  
“Listen, I will lend you some of my clothes, just for the moment, until I craft new ones for you. Would that be okay with you?” She waited for my approval and I blushed, embarassed from taking another person's clothes, which would look extremely big on me. I nodded, though. “Please wait on that first bedroom and undress, I will bring you new vestments shortly.”

  
I followed her directions to a small and warm room, filled with child toys and furniture. It had reddish colors and a bed to the side, right next to a wardrobe. As nervous as I was, I wasted no time in taking off the still wet and cold clothes anyway, hanging them on the drawer’s handle. I heard a soft knock on the door, opening just enough to grab one of Toriel's dresses she handed to me. I muttered a thank you very much, closing it afterwards.

  
The dress was more like a long robe, which was a relief, because dresses weren’t much to my liking. This one seemed shorter, like you were supposed to wear it with pants on, but it still fit too large. Now warmer, the sneezing and coughing settled down a bit.

 

 _-... Why is this happening?-_ The voice came back after being silent for a long time, which had made me wonder if it would come again at all at the time. Unfortunately or not, I was wrong.

 

“What are you talking about?” I said out loud, in hopes they would understand.

 

_\- Mom's... Toriel’s clothes. They... They don’t look good on you. -_

 

“They are just too big, that’s all.” I shrugged, sniffing a bit. It seemed the child didn't have much to say about that subject. “But now that we can talk... who are you?”

 

 _\- Don't you know it yet?-_ They sounded playfully offended _. -_ I’m _Chara.-_

 

Chara? But isn’t that my name?

 

“Chara? Who are you talking to? Are you dressed yet?” Toriel talked from outside the room, cutting the conversation short.

 

“Yes, mom, just a moment!”

 

_-Wait, what?!-_

 

Well, that wasn’t carefully planned.

 

“... What did you say?” There was a silence nobody wanted to fill. I felt tense and wanted to apologise.

 

“I-I'm sorry, it slipped.” I opened the door so we could talk better. “I-It’s just that... you really sounded like a mother there.”

 

“Oh, I see... Ahem, let me see how the robe fits, then!” She switched expressions, looking excited. She looked closely, with a hand on her cheek. “You're still too small for it, as I thought. Worry not, though! I will measure you tomorrow and make you something a little better.”

 

I wanted to answer, but I started coughing uninterruptedly, leaning over to put a hand on my mouth.

 

“Ah, sorry, I forgot you were not feeling well!” She side-carried me by the armpit, helping me into getting to the bed. “Please, lay down and take a nap. I will bake a butterscotch-cinnamon pie while you sleep and you’ll feel better in instant!”

 

I hesitated at first, but with her reassurance I made myself comfortable under the sheets. They smelled good but still pretty old. She helped me cover myself just like a mother would with her children, which made me wonder if she did have any. After making sure I was comfortable, she seemed to recall something as her hand touched her head.

 

“Oh, I just realized... I don’t have the ingredients! I was planning on buying them on the go but...” She wore a sad face. “Would it be okay if I left you alone for a moment, Chara? You would be sleeping.”

 

“I, uh...” I stared for some time, thinking of what to answer. “O-Okay, I guess.”

 

“Good. I will be back in a moment, try to sleep a little.” She patted my leg and got up, smiling and exiting the room, closing the door behind her. A few moments later, I could hear the front door being opened too, and then she left at last.

 

 _-Wow, she actually left.-_ Chara said, mesmerized. _-Didn't think she'd have the guts to leave a sick child alone.-_

 

“Don't be dramatic. She won’t be long.” I assured, staring at the ceiling.

 

 _-We still have some time left to play around. What do you say?-_ Now they sounded mischievous, which wasn't a good sign.

 

“Hey, I’m not a child to do that. I need to sleep.” I leaned to the side, closing my eyes.

  
  
_-That’s because you never played with me.-_ They chuckled. _-You don’t have many options, though.-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys think the writing is too rushed? Please tell me if you don't like something or know anything that could be improved.


	3. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo.  
> Sorry, I had no time to proofread this one, so I apologize for any weird stuff.

* * *

  
“I am back, Chara! Are you still sleeping?” The jingle of the keys was soon after followed by the doorknob being closed, and then the keychain was put over some surface, from what I could hear. Toriel's leg paws made little noise when walking, but it still was possible to discern them. She had claws, after all.

 

“Chara?” The bedroom door was being opened. “Huh?”

 

_-Quick! Hide all the toys!-_

 

“O-Okay.” I obeyed, but they were all so scattered that I didn’t think I could clean up before she came.

 

“My child, what are those sounds? Are you in the kitchen?” The steps were getting closer.

 

“I-It's nothing, I’m j-just playing!” I gathered all the knives and sharp objects over the counter and started rapidly placing them on their respective spots.

 

The light flickered and stopped, resting on its illuminated state. Toriel held a shocked gaze to what was in my hands.

 

“...What are you doing?” Her eyes examined the area in front of me, specifically the surface surrounding the sink and the opened drawer. “I don’t think you should be handling cuisine tools, my child.”

 

She slowly approached my hands with hers, being more careful than usual.

 

“I-I... I don't-“ I released the blade and stepped back “T-Toriel...! I s-swear-“

 

 _-Do we really have to go through this again? Can’t you handle such a simple situation by yourself? You’re so stupid.-_ They chanted the last phrase a few more times, or maybe that was just the reverberation of their voice deep within my conscience. _-Stop being so stupid.-_

  
“I'm not stupid!” I cried, holding my hands to my temples and ears, in a vain attempt to make the child stop. I was holding back a cough. That wasn’t the best moment for a cold.

 

“Of course you aren’t stupid, my dear, nobody said that!” Toriel caressed my shoulders, but I could sense the fear she held. “I am simply asking what you were doing.”

 

_-Ugh, let's end this for once, shall we?-_

 

Suddenly, my body was numb again. My will to movement myself was gone, and whatever I did wasn’t entitled to me. I didn’t think this would happen so soon again, but I had nothing to base my knowledge in so maybe this would be a usual thing from them on. I didn’t hope so.

 

“I’m so sorry! I was just trying to surprise you and help you cook, but I'm not very good at this...” My eyes watered. “I don’t even know what knife I have to use!”

  
  
I had the sensation of being embraced by furry arms and a linen cloth, a monster head resting itself on mine. I felt like a bad, filthy person, and promised myself to never listen to that child ever again, if I had the power to.

 

“You had no need to do this, Chara!” She distanced herself to focus on my eyes. “I explained your need to rest, did not I?”

 

“Yes...” My oversized sleeve wiped a tear by my left cheek and sniffed. “I will go to bed now.”

 

“Good!” She seemed relieved. “Please do warn me before trying anything new, are we agreed?”

 

“Yes, Toriel. I’m sorry.”

 

I didn’t like the way this enfant acted or speaked, distant like all of this was a mere game and they had all of the sentences to it memorized already. Everything was hollow and meaningless, which made me feel even worse for that lady. I started moving towards the room I was supposed to be in.

 

 _-We will have other chances, I promise.-_ They professed in an ominuous tone, making my lip curl in disgust.

 

When I was — and that’s the way I’m calling it for now — _possessed_ , I could experience feelings and sensations which weren’t mine. Despicable and virulent, they consumed my mind and I could do little to prevent them, and the more I tried, the more my heart ached. I wondered to myself; If these were what the kid dealt with full-time, what happened to them in the past? That is, considering they were actual real people inside of me and not my own conscience. Both answers didn’t please me.

 

“Huff” The mattress shakened under the weight of my body, as I realized I could breathe willingly again. I covered myself with the blankets all the way up to my head.

 

“Chara, can I ask you something?” I muttered, sniffing my running nose, half-expecting to be ignored. A few seconds passed before I had an answer.

 

 _-What is it?-_ They sounded reluctant.

 

“Please don’t make me lie again.” I rolled over to my side, facing the wall. I waited for a reply, but it never came. I sighed, not surprised. I contemplated whether it would have been better to never have climbed that mountain in the first place, but the Underground showed itself warm and welcoming at the most part. Maybe it was fate that I ended up here, but I partially blame Chara for it too. They were the one who guided me, after all.

 

What worried me the most though, was that my life before that day was a big foggy mess. My name, too, I didn’t know, but I was sure Chara was just hiding it from me. No matter how much I struggled, remembering the past was a difficult task to achieve. I assumed it was because of the stress I’ve been through, physically and emotionally, thorough the ongoing day. My brain has never been on my good side, and that much I could recall. I could have hit my head when I fell down too, that was a possibility.

 

I ended up sleeping, at last. I was very tired and my back was still sore from the fall, all the more I had catched a cold. I dozed off for only about an hour, yet now I was way more disposed than before.

 

To my right, laying on the ground, there was a plate with a perfect brownish piece of pie in the middle. Toriel must have left it there, I figured. I extended my arm to grab it, taking the fork in my hands and proceeding to eat it. The sound of the crumbling crisp when cut into was really pleasant to the ears, plus the melting buttery filling with a soft cinnamon addition was simply wonderful in a way I didn’t expect. The sweet flavor was very subtle, but good nonetheless. This pie was really one-of-a-kind. Perhaps I was actually really hungry, too. I barely even noticed that the food simply vanished before it reached my stomach, which was definitely weird.

 

“You are really good at cooking!” I exclaimed as soon as I found Toriel sitting on the living room's chair, reading a book.

 

“Thank you very much, my child.” She looked pleased. “How was your rest? It would be good if you slept until tomorrow, at least.

 

“It was good! My cold feels much better. But, actually, forgetting that for a second...” I placed the dishes in the kitchen sink, trying to exit it as soon as possible, coming back and facing the goat lady again. “I, um... I am very new to the underground, yes?”

 

“That is right.” She put her book down, staring at me with full attention.

 

“I still have, er... many questions, if that would be ok.” I fidgeted with my feet, which were bare except for a thin pair of socks.

 

“Oh, of course... I had forgotten about that. My apologies.” She got up, directing herself to the dining table and motioning for me to follow. We both sat down on opposite chairs. “Go on. I will answer what I can.”

 

“Thanks.” I stared at the potted plant on top of the wood. “You... You said you were a... monster? And that you used magic? How is that possible?”

 

“I did. Well, here in the Underground, things might be a little too different than back on the surface, so you might want to prepare yourself to learn and face things labeled inconceivable by humans.” She raised her hand chin-height, soon after lighting it with an orange-ish fire I had seen before. Analyzing it better now, it was as if she held the flames instead. “Most inhabitants here are monsters, and we are made of magic on the most part. That is why we can manipulate it out of free will.”

 

“Wow...” That was all I could muster, my stare fixed like stone on the ember she maneuvered effortlessly.

 

“Naturally, humans cannot wield magic like monsters can. However, a human can acquire magical power from those who have it... You understand what I mean.” Suddenly, memories of the tale of a Human and Monster War flashed back, making me doubt they were just mere rumors. I nodded sadly. “By these means humans sealed monsters inside this mountain...”

 

She paused for a second, as if reflecting on what or how to say something.

 

“My child... There is no way back.” I gasped soundlessly, facing her wide-eyed. Was that true? Would I never be able to see the surface again? There was a pause before she continued. “But I would gladly offer you a home here may you wish so.”

 

I gazed outside the window, to the sight of the Ruins. An old tree with no leaves decorated the center of the garden, however surrounded by red foliage on the ground. I admired the purple bricks forming the walls, and the froggits jumping about the lawn. Choosing between apparently nothing on the surface and a home in the monster world, the answer was obvious. A longing feeling for what I could never again see still throbbed on my chest, but over time, it would pass.

 

Despite that, I didn’t want to bother Toriel with my needs. She was too good, and I was a burden. Sooner or later, I'd have to move out and become independent. I was only 13... Focusing on the present, though, there was no other place I'd rather be. Which was weird, because I had met that person only a few hours before.

 

 _\- It would be nice to stay here for a while.-_ For the first time, they agreed with me. I didn’t know whether that was a good or a bad thing, but they seemed sincere.

 

“I... I might be okay with that.” Now it was her turn to be shocked. I stared at the ground. “My memories aren’t very reliable at the moment, but I don’t think I had anything to call ‘home' back then. I must admit, too... Living with a monster seems pretty exciting.”

 

Her eyes watered as the biggest grin I had ever seen in my life splattered across her face, in an act of pure exhilaration and joy, her hands covering her mouth. She ran over to me to throw herself on a tight hug that almost got me breathless. I returned it. She seemed so serious before, I certainly didn’t expect for this to be so important to her. Her long ears tickled my face and I buried myself on her soft fur. I was so embarassed, yet gleeful. It was such an honest embrace, that itself made me want to weep.

 

“I will bake you pies all the time! And-and” She nuzzled my forehead, and even though her muzzle was wet, I didn’t complain. “I will show you the best snail-gathering spots! I will show you all of the secrets to the catacombs!”

 

“I can’t wait for that.” I chuckled as she used her sleeve to wipe my teary face, and I preferred to ignore the snail part of her promises. Everything was happening very fast, I thought, but this seemed like the right thing to do. There was no way such a happy moment could be wrong. Toriel seemed to be so lonely, living by herself, and I saw no signs of her interacting with anyone else(all of the other monsters seemed intimidated by her for some reason), so I could understand her glee. I thought there was something more behind that, but that was just a thought, and I paid it no mind. “Thank you so much for letting me stay.”

 

She shaked her head in a soft “no”, still smiling all the way.

 

“It is such a pleasure to have someone else live here. I should be thanking you instead, my child.” The hug was finally loosened, and she sat on her knees over the wooden floor, making our eyes meet on the same level. “On this matter, how are you feeling? I suppose human diseases do not heal very fast, even if we use magic or monster food.”

 

“My head hurts a bit,” I had just noticed that. “and my throat is a bit sore. But all the sneezes and coughs settled down really fast, I’m surprised and confused as to how.”

 

“I do not understand human anatomy as well and I do with monsterkind’s,” she stopped a bit to think before answering. “however perhaps you already eliminated the viruses inside of you? That is what those expeller symptoms are for, is it not? That is what a child of mine once told me.”

 

So she had a child. ‘I wonder where they are now’, I thought to myself.

 

 _-You'd be surprised.-_ Chara chuckled as if there was a joke I didn’t get.

 

‘What?’ I asked inside my head. There was no answer.

 

“It’s unusual for it to be this fast. I think the food and magic really did play a big part. Maybe the symptoms will come back later, though...” I scratched my head. If I got sick for real on my first day living with this lady that would be very unlucky, not to say troubling.

 

“Scoop up to bed, then!” She got up, tapping her robe to clean it. She signed with her hands for me to get up as well and head for the bedroom, still not being able to erase the smile on her face. I agreed, laughing lightly.


	4. A Friendly encounter

I woke up sweating, sitting up rapidly with heavy breaths and a racing heart. My head was throbbing painfully, and I could tell I had a nightmare. I brought my hand to my face and massaged the nose bridge between my eyes, sighing. Luckily, I didn’t remember what the dream was about, but I had a persistent, aching feeling inside that was hard to shake off. What a day yesterday was! Bad dreams were no surprise.

 

The bedroom door made a loud wheeeeeeee when opened, probably because it was very old. Toriel seemed to have heard it from where she was, shouting an enthusiastic “good morning” that echoed thorough the house. When I walked over to the warm fire by the fireplace, her head popped out of the kitchen’s doorway, acknowledging my presence. There was a pleasant smell around the place.

 

“Good morning.” I waved with one hand, using the other one to rub the sleep off my face. I stared out the window to check, but, as I figured, the day wasn’t any brighter than the evening. It would take some getting used to.

 

“How was your night, my child? I’m baking some bread, it will be done soon!” She went back to clean off the counter and slice some fruits. I followed, offering some help, which she refused with a head shake. I think that the incident last night was pretty shocking for both parties involved. I decided to help with washing a couple of glasses instead.

 

“It was great.” I lied, but only partially. I slept really comfortably. My throat was still sore. “How was yours?”

 

“I bearly slept.” She entertained herself with my confused face before continuing. “That is, I slept like a bear.”

 

Toriel laughed at her own pun, and I had to do the same. It wasn’t exactly the funniest joke ever, but the surprise and unexpectancy of it coming from her made it all the more amusing. I decided to humor her.

 

“Okay okay, but seriously...” I stared her with intensity, catching her attention. “Have you heard about the kidnapping?”

 

“...What kidnapping?!” She put down the knife she was using to focus better, genuinely concerned.

 

“...That was me!” I pointed at my chest, laughing, shifting the mood to something comical again. After she realized the catch, she cracked up once more, ruffling my hair and muttering something about me being a cute little thing. The atmosphere got pretty nice after that, and we became a little more comfortable around each other.

 

When said bread was done, I helped set up the dining table with juices, jams, cookies and pretty fruits, as Toriel handled the hot food, which included yesterday's leftover pie. It was honestly too much for my opinion, but a big breakfast definitely wasn’t something I would ever complain about. If there were leftovers(there would be), we could eat them in the upcoming days. The idea of exploring the Ruins later and bringing a snack popped on my mind, and I was looking forward to it.

 

“Careful not to burn yourself!” She said, sharing a breadslice and putting it on a plate for me. I thanked with a head gesture, serving myself a few other stuff along with it.

 

As we sat on opposite ends, I stared at last night's pie which sat right in front of me, remembering how it strangely disappeared on my throat, and wondered if this food would do the same. It was a weird sensation I was not exactly fond of, not being, however, opposed to it.

 

Taking a bite, my doubts were confirmed. That unusual sensation lingered for a moment before going out just like the apple-flavored loaf i just ate. Magic, I assumed. My stomach wasn’t pleased with this turn of events.

 

“This thing is weird, where does the food go?” I asked kind of to myself, but Toriel gladly answered with a smile.

 

“Monster food converts itself into energy right as you swallow it! It is very practical for instances such as battling, though I hope you need not to... use that knowledge.” She stared for a moment, as if... longing something?, passing then a hand through her left ear as one would do with hair, concentrating on her plate afterwards. I wished I knew what her story was...

 

“Oh.” I said, trying to get used to the sensation.

 

The rest of the breakfast went on eventlessly, some small talk here and there and a few bad jokes on her part to which I laughed. She mentioned taking my body measures to sew me some better fitting clothes and insisted on it even after I suggested getting a job and buying some new vestments on my own. I got terribly embarassed, yet grateful, agreeing to it with no other option in sight. Toriel wanted to do that, it seemed.

 

Shooing me to go breathe some fresh air while she worked, she gave me my coat, now dry, but in bad condition. I noticed some holes, that must have happened during my fall, some of which big enough to pass my hand trough. I'd have to stitch that later. I also brought a small bag with some food for later and a cell phone she gave me.

 

The tree in the yard, even though old and leaveless, was beautiful. Sitting by it with my back to the house, I started humming a familiar tune I liked very much. The light breeze blew the fur in my hood, tickling my face and making me chuckle. The temperature wasn’t as cold as yesterday, and there were a few more monsters in the distance playing around. One of them noticed my presence and waved, and I mouthed a smiley “hi” back. They signed for me to come over.

 

I looked back at “Home”(there was an actual sign with the name), searching for Toriel. She wasn’t watching, but I decided to go anyway, tapping my baggy robe to get rid of the dirt. The monsters looked happy.

 

“Ribbit, ribbit.” A frog-like creature spoke, but, somehow, I could understand its language. I brushed it off as magic. “(Hello, are you a new friend of Toriel's?)”

 

I nodded. “Do you live around here?”

 

“(Yes! Me and my family are froggits, which are native of the Ruins. My name is Pod.)” It jumped happily. “(I've never seen anyone like you before. Mind I ask what kind of monster you are?)”

 

Huh? “Monster? I’m not a monster.” I shaked my head negatively.

 

“(What are you, then? A flower? You don’t look like one.)” Pod held a very confused gaze at me, as if I was talking nonsense.

 

“Howdy Poddy, won’t you stop bothering my friend there? They look very uncomfortable, don’t you think?” Startled, my focus was suddenly headed towards a golden flower that appeared a little behind the froggit I was talking to. I let out a surprised gasp.

 

“(F-Flowey! But... t-they don’t appear uncomfortable?)” Pod stuttered, jumping when the flower got closer, coming from under the earth. Everyone around suddenly got nervous.

 

“Here, friend, let's go somewhere else! I have something I want to show you!” Choosing to ignore the monster, Flowey pulled me by my coat, motioning for me to follow him.

 

“All right... But he wasn’t being mean to me.” I got up relutanctly, muttering an apology for the monsters there, going after Flowey, who waited with a smile.

 

“It's rude to ask what you are.” He started moving with his underground transporting way, which was faster than I expected and I had to walk rapidly to follow.

 

“Is it?” I wondered, hoping that wasn’t true. I reminded myself to apologize to Toriel later, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Flowey hummed a yes, never stopping to see if I was there. I guess he was confident enough that I wouldn’t go away(Not that I planned to, there was no reason for that).

 

We stopped after a few minutes, in a dimly lit rock-walled chamber, which was nothing alike the place we were before. In fact, this actually looked like a cave and was what I expected to find before all happened. There were a few dripstones in the ceiling, and a small ford underneath them. It was spruce colored with a few hints of mauve, similar but darker than the purple bricks from the Ruins. The air was humid and cold, so I pulled my hood on, reflexively, while admiring the beautiful view. I would want to come there more times later.

 

“Monsters planned to keep building the ruins all the way here, but the project was dropped because there was no need for that anymore. They did build a city not far from here, though.” Flowey stared pensively at the watery ground. “Maybe we can visit it together later! But for now...”

 

Flowey turned back at me, getting closer, swinging his leaves around. “I promised we would finish our conversation from yesterday, now didn’t I? I still have to show you some stuff! I’m sure the lady didn’t talk much.”

 

I didn’t know there was that much to be discussed, but again, I was in a completely different world so that’d make sense. I was glad people were helping me in there, or else I’d be at a loss. I nodded.

 

“Here. We. Go!” Once more, all the colors around me faded as my surroundings turned pitch black. Once again, I had “turned” into a crimson floating heart, and I noticed my moves were limited by a box around me. Flowey stood in the center ahead of me.

 

“It pulses...” I spoke, realizing there was a way for me to look at the heart from above, maybe even cupping it in my hands. It was a calming sensation.

 

“That is your soul! It’s the very culmination of your being. Cool, right?” He spoke like a child showing their favorite toy, which was kinda cute. In spite of this, however... my _soul_? This... Was this really my _soul_?

 

It took me a few minutes to absorb that. I had heard about the essence of people, about the nature within oneself that everyone had but couldn’t really see. It had all kinds of interpretations in all kinds of religions and sciences, and it was this great thing all around. To think it all was true, and actually resumed itself to a glowing heart was, to say the least, funny, but also marvelous in indescribable ways. The word “determination” screamed inside my head, but I didn’t know what that meant.

 

“It's... amazing.” I beamed. “How is this possible?”

 

“It's a small perk of human and monsterkind’s. I think animals might have it too, but I’ve never seen one myself.” He shrugged with his leaves and stem, not caring much. “Now let’s go on, shall we?”

 

I nodded, not sure if he could see it. He went on anyway, summoning a few small, marble-like objects, which danced around him.

 

“In here, to grow stronger, we must gather LV. LV stands for... LOVE! Isn’t it cute?” He giggled, and now the small balls were all around him. “That LOVE is shared through white little things we like to call ‘Friendliness Pellets'! You should catch as many as you can, now!”

 

I stared in awe as the pellets came in my direction. They were at least 10, and coming quite fast. I felt my heart... no, my soul pulsating faster and, out of reflex, I evaded his “LOVE attack”. I watched as they kept going a while more, and disappeared.

 

“Buddy? You missed them.” Flowey's smile was forced, disappointed. The pellets started forming around him once more. “Let’s try again! Don't run from them this time!”

 

“S-Sorry! I got scared, I think.” My voice reverberated through the space, and Flowey seemed to accept my excuse.

  
As it happened again, even though I tried not to escape, I ended up doing it. Turns out I was such a scaredy-cat that I couldn’t even keep myself in place, a sensation that reminded me of all the frustrated tries to drop collyrium in my eyes, that I always closed fractions of seconds before. Flowey started to look pissed.

 

“What are you doing? Run. Into. The. Bullets.” He stopped himself, shaking his head. “F-friendliness pellets, I mean.”

 

What did he say? Oh, no, I thought. Something clicked. My gut feeling was right, Flowey wasn’t as nice as he made it look like. If I just stood there and took the bullets, no good would come out of it, for sure.

 

“Are you... tricking me?” I distanced myself slowly.

 

“What? Of course not! I want to share my LOVE with you!” He said, as another wave of pellets swooped right in time for me to evade. “Heh. Interesting. No use hiding it now, isn’t that so?”

 

All around me, dozens of round marbles danced in a circle, coming closer, leaving no room to escape. He got me.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Flowey.
> 
> Also, check out my tumblr, it will have art related to the fic very soon: [Nicookami](http://nicookami.tumblr.com)


	5. Not as bad as it could have been

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, this took me forever to update. I don't even have an excuse, though? Lmao I wrote this so slowly.

  
“You IDIOT” Flowey let out a maniacal laugh, too loud and unpleasant to bear. “In this world, it’s KILL or BE killed!”

 

Okay, okay, calm down. You can do this. I reassured myself, though I didn’t believe that very much. However, if I panicked, it was likely that Chara would take over again, and it wasn’t certain when and if they would let go of me. There must be a way.

 

Then I had an idea. It looked like the attack wasn’t following me, but rather just a direction Flowey gave. Slowly closing in, the circles had a very small gap between them, so if I acted quickly I could pass trough only being hit once or twice. I just hoped that they wouldn’t hurt too much.

 

And so I did. 3 pellets touched me, making me feel way less energetic and a lot weaker, but at least I was out of the circle. Flowey looked perplexed in a way I'd laugh if the situation was any different. Unfortunately, he got angrier and started shooting as fast as he could, from all directions. I had a hard time dodging those, two more of them hit me in the process.

 

“I won’t let you escape!” Flowey shouted, in between laughters. So there was a way for me to flee.

 

After keeping up for about half a minute, I remembered Toriel's words, earlier on that same day. She told me... monster food converts itself into energy right after swallowing... which is useful in battles! Oh, thank god I had brought my bag. But how could I reach it...?

 

I tried shouting “food!”, but the only thing that came out of it was a confused flower and a sarcastic look.

 

“You're so inexperienced, it’s almost unfair to fight you. Too bad it's just so interesting!” He chuckled deviously, wearing a serious expression afterwards. “Go ahead. Eat. It won’t make a difference.”

 

Now Flowey stood silently, and I felt a little different. It was my turn to act, I realized, hoving over my suddenly-available bag and the food inside, grabbing a piece of pie that was on top. As I ate it, I felt revigorated, but as soon as the stamina came back, I felt like slapping myself in the face. There was my chance of finding a way to escape, and I wasted it, because now Flowey was attacking again. Way to go, self.

 

_\- Keep dodging. He will tire out, eventually. –_ The child advised abruptly, and I almost failed to avoid one of the pellets that came from upwards. Somehow, that sentence seemed a bit familiar. Maybe a memory from the surface? Weird.

 

“Chara, you are such a fool! If you don't attack, I will win!” Flowey giggled, appearing from behind me. He grinned confidently, even playing around disappearing, reappearing and touching my shoulder to make me frustrated and dizzy. I cursed at the void.

 

But I wouldn’t... I couldn’t hurt him. Of course, I didn’t know how, that’s true, but even if I did... That was just plain wrong. I remembered how much I hated the kind of people that harmed other people back in the human world, so it wouldn’t make sense for me to become one of them. Even Chara said that there was another way.

 

I tried to resist as much as I was able to. Still, my health got very low again — I knew that because my soul felt weak and heavy, like it was about to give up. But it wasn’t only me. Flowey was panting too, and sweat was dripping from his petals. I was too tired to question how. 

 

“You’re... tough for a child...” He said, in between ragged breaths, visibly worn out.

 

“Oh my god, will people stop calling me a child?! I’m thirteen, okay?!” I let out, angry and frustrated. “I'm almost a teenager!”

 

I heard Chara laughing inside my head. That little bastard.

 

“Whatever, I don’t care.” He frowned. “This fight is going nowhere.”

 

As soon as I realized it was my turn, I shifted my focus and screamed “FLEE” inside my head, but... itt didn’t work. At all. Oh my god, what am I gonna do? I just received the best opportunity and I can't leave! I'm going to d--?

 

_-I'll help you, so stop panicking.-_ Chara shut me up, and I noticed my soul was uneasy, unable to stand still. Was that me?. - _Instead of focusing on leaving here, think about dissolving the battle field. Remember, we didn’t actually leave the cave, it just looks different._

 

It was weird, having them aid me for once. I told their advice to heart, though, and did as they said _. Dissolve the battle field. I want for this battle to end. Make this hollow darkness disappear_.

 

As I welcomed my soul back inside my body, I saw Flowey regain his color, not changing expressions in any way. Slowly, the stalactites grew back on the ceiling, and my feet were wet by the shallow water that covered part of the cavern's floor.

 

In the exact same instant I realized I could move, I ran away. Turning my head around briefly, I saw Flowey face another way and sink into the ground. It didn’t look like he was going after me, but I couldn’t afford to wait and see, so I kept dashing away and into the Ruins once more.

 

Passing trough the pathways I came from before, I ended up in front of Toriel's in barely no time. A few monsters were chatting nervously, and all looked at me when I came. They tried to ask what was going on, but I didn’t answer and instead darted towards the house, still filled with anxiety and fear.

 

I almost slammed the door open, but I didn’t want to startle Toriel. She was concentrated on sewing together some pieces of fabric, sitting by the table. She immediately stopped when I entered.

 

“What happened, my child?” She got up, coming to me and putting a hand to the side of my head. She held a concerned gaze. “Why are you sweaty and shaking?”

 

I considered how much was wise to tell her. If she got too worried or mad, what would she do to Flowey? It was possible that she’d never let me out of the house again. No... I couldn’t cause this much trouble so soon. Not to someone who has been so nice to me in a foreign world without asking for a single thing in exchange.

  
_-Are you going to lie?-_ Chara spoke, in a sarcastic tone. - _Weren’t YOU the one who asked me not to lie again?_

 

They were right, though. Lying would also be wrong... but what could I do? Maybe a half-truth was better.

 

“I... I got... T-There was a monster that picked on m-me.” It wasn’t a lie exactly, was it? I was just omitting the gravity of the situation. “So I... r-ran away.”

 

_-You are really something.-_ They sounded amused, as if watching an interesting movie. I didn’t answer.

 

“What?! Who did that?!” She looked as if the offense was directed to her, ready to punish the responsible. Like a big sister.

 

_-Or a mother_.- They said quietly. Or a mother, I agreed.

 

“It doesn’t matter, it wasn’t s-serious... Can I just stay inside instead?” I wiped my forehead with my sleeve, staring at the ground.

 

Toriel wrapped me up in a hug I wish lasted longer. “Of course you can, Chara. Are you sure you do not want me to talk to that monster? I can make them apologize.”

 

“It's ok, Toriel. Thanks.” I smiled genuinely, glad to have her around.

 

“You are welcome, innocent one. Do not hesitate to tell me if they bother you again, agreed?”

 

“Agreed.” She kissed my cheek, making me blush a little.

 

“Now, I need to keep sewing. Would you like to take a shower? I got everything prepared beforehand, but I didn’t know you would come back so soon.” Her gaze met the door of the bathroom.

 

“That'd be awesome.” I took off my coat, hanging it on the proper place, by the door.

 

“Okay. Hm...Do you want me to stitch your old coat, too?” Toriel felt the torn fabric, examining the holes.

 

“If you don’t mind, I'd like to do that myself! It's relaxing for me.” I smiled. She only agreed after making sure she would be monitoring, which was ok with me. Going back to her work and wishing me a good shower, she guided me trough how it worked, talking and gesturing. It appeared it was very similar to a human one, fortunately.

 

Getting there, I couldn’t help but notice there was no toilet in the bathroom. Would I ever need one? Probably not. Thinking about that was weird. I chuckled at myself.

 

I shook my head and started undressing, folding my clothes as neatly as I could(which wasn’t very much) and put them inside a basket that appeared to be of that purpose. I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to do that yet, though. As I turned on the shower and waited for it to warm up, I started recalling the last few hours, which made me think of something. I called out to Chara.

 

_-...Hmm?-_ They answered lazily.

“Back then, with Flowey...” I smiled to myself, gazing peacefully at the running water. “When I had the urge to not trust him... When I avoided his pellets by reflex. That was you, wasn’t it? With the froggits too. I don’t know their language, but I understood them.”

 

They paused.  _-... Go clean yourself. You stink.-_

 

My grin got wider.

 

* * *

 

  
“You will love the many puzzles inside the Ruins!” Toriel chanted happily while we exited the house the next day to explore the Underground. “My favorite one is the rotative room.”

 

“Oh, I know that one.” I was stepping over the crimson leaves, appreciatting the crunching noise that came along. I was wearing the clothes I fell with, along with the fixed coat, and the lent bag, which had beautiful emblems made out of metal(I want to say silver, but I wasn’t sure), similar to the ones Toriel wore.

  
Her fashion choices weren’t always the same. Sometimes, Toriel wore a dress or a robe; Other times, she wore turtleneck shirts and pants. But up until that point, all of them had similar color schemes and the same stamp every time. It had to mean something.

 

“Toriel?” Her eyes focused on me, and she emitted a soft hum in a questioning tone. “What’s that crest on your chest?

 

“Oh, this?” She held the shirt, looking at it. “It's linked to an ancient myth of our people. Would you like to hear it?”

 

Was it like a religion, then? Was Toriel very religious? That was a surprise, but at the same time, expected. “Yeah! I’d love to.”

 

“It was created not much after the War, I recall. These strokes underneath represent the mountain, and thus us, the ones trapped in it. This above represents a powerful being. An angel, perhaps. It could be evil too.” She spoke peaceful and carefully, gesturing with her hands for emphasis. “It wasn’t long until monsterkind associated it to a prophecy.”

 

“What was it?” I almost tripped over a rock, from staring too hard at her and forgetting about my steps. My stance was quickly regained.

 

“It says that, one day, this creature would descend from the sky, engulfed by sunlight and a strong, impressive aura, and the whole Undergound would become empty. It would either save us and set us free... or doom us forever.” Toriel was very passionate with her words. I knew she believed that strongly with her soul. “But us monsters, we have always had hope on top of us. We never doubted a bright future, even if it was taking too long. But we waited up until now. We are going to hold on however longer it takes.”

 

She held a bright smile, caressing my hair calmly.

 

“Maybe one day we will watch the rain together.” I held tight on my purse, gazing upwards and feeling nostalgic. The rain was my favorite thing ever, I could stare at it for hours without growing tired. Back on the surface, I had a friend that never understood why I liked it so much, but always waited for me to appreciate it.

 

Oh, that’s right. I had a friend... Who were they again?

 

“I am sure we will.” She stopped walking, clasping her hands. “Oh, we are here already! The first... no, the last puzzle of the Ruins: The Rotating Rooms.”

 

The place itself wasn’t new to me, because I had been here before, even if just by a flash. It had three marble pillars, distributed on, more or less, each side. There was a switch behind one of them, and probably in the back of the others too.

 

“Can you figure this one out? We’re not following the right order, but you should be able to make it.” Her head pointed to a sign carved on the walls. It told me that, if I could read it, I should press the green switch. It was right beside me, so I did the task effortlessly. I heard a “click” by the exit of the room, and Toriel clapped happily. “Very well! Good job!”

 

Receiving praise for such a simple mission was embarrassing, so I didn’t answer and instead looked to the side with a simper. Toriel noticed, but didn’t seem at all bothered. She motioned for us to go along, pointing at the now-free exit.

 

Throughout the next two rooms, the puzzle repeated itself, but from different angles and asking for different-colored switches. Toriel congratulated me the same way after them both, and although all that flattery still had me flustered, it wasn’t all that bad anymore.

 

Heh. To think that someone I met only two days before would be able to ease my aversion to compliments, even if just by a tad...

 

_-It fills you with determination, doesn’t it?-_


End file.
